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Infertility from a Dad's point of view

Monday, November 7, 2016

There is no doubt that infertility is a hard and then even harder.  This wonderful and honest article is taken from a man's point of view - watching is wife go through multiple miscarriages, D&C's and heartache. It is great to hear from a guy how he dealt with the losses, his own internal struggles and the support they found to get through it together - the fact that the author is also a comedian, brings light to this weighty topic.

How men deal with infertility

By John Murray


I remember the day I found out we’d had our second miscarriage.  My wife was lying on the floor, crying. The loss of life was painful, of course. But knowing that she would need another D&C (dilation & curettage, which clears out the uterus) was soul crushing — waiting for the hospital to schedule her, the lifelessness in her body while she waited the procedure itself. As I embraced her I remember thinking, “I need to fix this for her.”

Things should have been easy — my wife and I were both perfectly healthy. There was no reason we shouldn’t have been able to have kids. But instead, we got pregnant and suffered a miscarriage. And then we had five more. This led us to see fertility  specialists and eventually undergo fertility treatments. Our third (and what we had decided would be our final) IVF cycle was successful. We were blessed with twins: a boy and a girl. It took five years.

I learned a lot about myself during that time. As a man going through infertility, you are a passenger on the shittiest car ride ever. You don’t have any control. Your partner’s body is the conduit in which fertility takes place. Seeing my wife in so much physical and emotional pain made me desperately want to alleviate her burden. But instead, I made the situation about myself.

There’s a cliché that men are always trying to fix the problem. As a man going through infertility, that cliché became the truth... for the complete article - click.

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