From infertility to Family
For so many of us women - infertility is a topic that occupies a great percentage of our thoughts and emotions. I applaud the women who are strong enough to share their stories in order to help support and offer hope for others who are going through similar heartbreak. Thank you Jackie Cohen for sharing yours.
From infertility to family.
By Jackie Cohen
We’re so inspired by your journey to start a family. To recap, you were 40, single and dating Mr. Wrong when you realized you really wanted a baby. What was the catalyst that made you decide to do this on your own?
At 40 I was dating this Italian guy, who was also 40 and single and never married. He was lusty, crazy, rich, exciting and wild. He flew me to Italy to meet his family. I had this romantic idea of leading an adorned and bohemian lifestyle between Italy and NYC. But, in my heart I knew he was just a fling and not a life partner. After a crazy breakup, I knew I wanted a family. I was never scared to do it on my own. I have an amazing family and support system. I didn’t think motherhood would be a tenth the amount of work it is, or as rich, wonderful and fulfilling as it is, so I am glad I was never scared to do it. I always knew that I would do it on my own if I didn’t have a life partner. I always knew I wanted to be a mother and the partner was sort of secondary.
What was your journey like with IVF? It can be really hard going in thinking you’re going to have a baby right away and it take 2, 3, 4, times and sometimes it doesn’t work….
It was HORRIBLE! I always say that suffering from infertility and going through IVF is the cruelest thing you can do to your body and emotions. I found it devastating every 28 days to get your hopes up, only to be disappointed that you weren’t pregnant. Or, you do get pregnant but suffer a loss. Personally, I had many complications and two pregnancy losses. This, compounded by the cost is the worst. You’re constantly thinking, “I hope I get pregnant this time, otherwise it’s another $10,000.” It’s insane to think that way. Everything costs money, it’s a total mind f*&%.
Why did you keep going with IVF for so long? What was the point when you really decided to go to adoption?
I kept trying IVF because I wanted a baby. Period. After the 9th time, I made peace with my body that it was just not meant to make a baby. I drank a lot of wine, cried myself to sleep and picked myself up. The next day, made the decision to adopt and never looked back. Turns out, that worst day of my life, was the best decision I ever made!
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